Wednesday, August 10, 2005

The Day the Music Died

Thanks for all your support, the emails and tags on here, and for those who have sent flowers and cards. My mom passed away unexpectedly a week ago yesterday. They suspect it was a heart attack, though we haven't gotten the official word in yet. To anyone who knew her, or anyone that even heard about her, my mom was an amazing person. She had such a presence and gave so much to so many people that everyone feels lost without her, me most of all. We had a special bond, which I use to say meant that she made me do everything, but now I see it was in preparation for her being gone.

Pete and I were in England when it happened. We'd gone into Basildon to do some shopping, just for things we wanted to pick up. We went to a few DVD shops, he had to go the Job Center, and then we went to Asda (which is owned by Walmart). As we approached the CD/DVD section his mobile phone rang. We thought I'd be his friend Kate, but it was his mum. I remember Pete saying something about me not being on the phone with him but close, and then he told me to wait there while he walked away about 20 ft. I remember his face from that far away and I knew something was wrong. He wouldn't tell me what it was, which annoyed me because I thought it was about someone in his family. He said his mum was picking us up at a certain spot so we raced in that direction passed the crowds of people. I'm usually good under stress but I had to tell him to slow down because I felt numb and couldn't breathe. I guess we both looked in a state because a man who walked passed us asked if everything was alright. We got into his mum's car and drove home, I remember being so worried about Pete if something happened to one of his family members or friends. We got in the house, and I remember Pete's mum asking him if he wanted to tell me or if he wanted her to. That's when I knew it had to do with me. He took me into his room, closed the door, and made me put my bag on the floor.

It was the most surreal moment of my life. I remember him telling me the news, me wailing and him crying. Then I went numb and became frantic to get in touch with someone at home.

We got a charter flight out of London last Thursday and arrived around 3pm in the afternoon. The viewing was on Friday and the funeral on Saturday. Everyday is a little better and I get use to her not being here with us in person, but I know her spirit is with all of us and in every life that she touched.

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