Friday, September 08, 2006

My first American Expat Rant

Things that annoy me about England:

1) People asking me why I moved here from Florida, and calling me stupid for doing so. Sorry, but those individual's only (if that) experience of Florida is a holiday in the sun for a fortnight. I lived there for 19 years, so I believe I have the upper ground on my judgement of the state. And, as a relatively intellegent person (university educated and all that) I think I can make my own decision on where I want live.

2) People asking me what I think of England. Every single person thinks they're the first to ask this very original question. After they discover I've been here at least ten times previously, they realize they are less innovated than they thought.

3) Rude shop assistants. I was given the evil eye at WH Smith's last week, I'm still not entirely sure why.

4) "American food." HP, the company that makes brown sauce has an "American sauce" which seems to be a combination of Ketchup and BBQ sauce. I'm not entirely sure what it could be used for, and I'm not curious enough to buy it. I love when things are called "American" when they bear only a slight resemblance to those things actually in America. MIL and I found Lipton Ice Tea at Sainsbury's right? I got it home and it takes like lemon water (apparently its pretty much diet ice tea so maybe thats why).

5) Calling things by their brand names or by color. The usual culprated that everyone knows: a vaccuum is a hoover, tape is sello tape etc. But Ketchup is red sauce...and people use it as a substitute for tomato sauce on spaghetti (WTF?)

6) Colo(u)rs in general: What I call mauve (pronounced MO-ve here) isn't a dark pink, but rather, a light purple. A beige color that I call universally "tan" is "coffee" and tan means brown.

7) Wimpy Burger: Its one of the few actual British fast food chains. Its not very good, and is the first example I found that british food is actually plain.

8) People telling me how I should look for a job. (This is by people who a) don't have jobs usually or b) haven't had to look for a job in 20 years).


Elaine said...

Oh dear Juls!

Seems like you're being bombarded with all those questions! And this is only the beginning! You'll get used to it though. And don't forget that you will be center of attention and a lot of people will want your story. Now you know what it's like to be an expat. I've been answering the same questions for 20 years.

Brits absolutely adore the warm sunshine and that's why they can't comprehend anyone wanting to leave sunny FL. ;)

Look forward to hearing more of your expat experiences.

Jennie said...

I'm terrible. I'm laughing at people asking you stupid questions. That's awful that anyone would call you stupid for leaving Florida. Don't they understand anything about love?

People still ask me what I think of America / Wisconsin. I tell them I like it - because I do. Sometimes they ask for specific things that I like, which is tough to think up on the spot.

That sucks about the WH Smith person. :(

I've never heard of "American sauce". Sounds weird. I think here they have something like "Old English spread" - I keep meaning to buy it.

Ben doesn't like it when I call tape, sello tape. I don't remember what he calls it. But I don't like it. I don't like him calling tissues "Kleenex".

Boo to rude people telling you to find a job. None of their business.

Sorry I haven't stopped by in a while - I spend way too much time on Flickr.